Chronicles of Dustin Ashley Beam

Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me. Stephenie Meyer Perhaps that is a strange way to start an entry on Thanksgiving morning, but it is on my heart and is from the novel "New Moon". Time is a vacillating and nebulous entity. I have weathered my aching seconds, ticking one by one... But not today. Today I give thanks to be alive, to love, and to be loved in return. I wish everyone the enchanting rapture I feel in my spirit walk. Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things that escape those who dream only at night. Edgar Allan Poe And I am awash in my daily dreams.... my capacity and yours is measureless. Dustin

It happened. Somehow every year around this time my heart bounds into holiday mode. It is an enigmatic mesh of peace, paradox, rumination, revelry, abasement, and tenebrosity. Its inveigling nature coaxes me into submission. I accept every year with both wonder and chagrin. This year as the Holidays approach, I have decided to pay homage to the people, entertainers, and creations that make it all worthwhile in my life. The first shall be Gavin Creel. He is one of my favourite artists because his voice IS music to me. He is one of those that was destined to be a singer, period. I had the opportunity to write to him on facebook and he responded. That is the wondrous facet of facebook: the ability to connect. When I first contacted him last year, I posed a few silly questions to him so I went ahead and answered those this time. He is a gem of a human being and his voice is superb... by far he is my favourite male vocalist. Go to www.gavincreel.com for information about him and purchas...

This past week was a blur and one that was exciting and brought about change, cinematic wonder, and hope. I have talked about "Twilight", but I must reiterate that I adore the film. I have now seen it THREE times. I think that it is a perfect manifestation of the novel. I am THRILLED that they have green-lit the sequel, "New Moon". The beauty of creation of all sorts of genres continues to entice and intrigue me. I read the "Twilight" series this summer and it has become a part of my fabric of delights... along with "The West Wing", "Friends", "Harry Potter", "Clue", "Roger Rabbit", Sandi Patty, Gavin Creel, "Wicked", and Dr. Pepper. :-) I am consistently in awe of the way these creations meander into my life and make it enjoyable, provide a safe harbour in which I can venture and explore the caverns of creativity and uncharted worlds. When a film version is made out of a novel, I rejoice. I...

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb." I fell in love with both the lion and the lamb... and I am quite discerning. The premiere of an eagerly awaited film is a spiritual experience for me. The ambiance is paramount to a pleasurable viewing: the popcorn, the soda, the people, the darkness before the first trailer... I did not know what I would think of the "Twilight" finished product. I was happy to see the saga brought to the big screen as I am a massive fan of the series (all four novels, yes I even adore the fourth installment, "Breaking Dawn") and knew that I would enjoy the film on some level because it is always captivating to see characters emerge onscreen in flesh and blood (the humour there is intended unless you, the beloved reader, did not find it funny. Then it was merely verbiage used to dazzle you into blog submission...) and out of the constraints of the mind. The film is marvelous. The onscreen chemistry between Edward and Bel...

This past Saturday I, with thousands of others across the country, attended a protest/rally of Proposition 8 and Act I (the adoption ban in Arkansas). My dear allies in this battle were Jay, Karen, their joyous son Quin, our mutual friend Greg, Amanda, Carter, Sarah Jane, Liz, and the brave Arkansans that showed up for the rally on the steps of our Capitol. It was bitterly cold and grey, but within I was ignited with passion and newfound purpose. As I listened to the stories of my fellow brothers and sisters, gay, straight, bisexual, transgendered, I was struck by the power of the many speaking as one. Then I began to visit my own story and was struck at how far I have come... to think back fourteen years ago when I had my brother tell my parents that I happened to be gay because I was so frightened as to what they would think, say, how they could ever love me, this abomination.... To now, a man standing with his friends and proclaiming "This is our right, What you have done is ...

Tonight I attended "If You Sing It, They Will Come", a young artist presentation at the Arkansas Rep. It was my first time to step foot into the building ever since I concluded "Les Mis". I expected to see the show and congratulate the few friends I know in the cast and head home. Instead, I was greeted with some other former castmates of "The Miz" and was hugged and loved. The crew (which are mostly year long interns and some full time staff) poured out of the backstage to say hello and tell me they missed me. The outpouring of "I miss you" and "You made my night" were in a word... overwhelming. To Julia Nightingale, Becky, Elise, Jamie, Jesus, Duvall, Kelsie, Conly, Charlie, Gracie, Nicole, and my adorable Sam: Thanks for making me feel alive again. :-) I have found that I tend to have a positive impact on people. In public I tend to be upbeat and ADORE telling stories, laughing, and meeting new folks. (Yes, I proudly said folks...

This is an exciting time to be alive. It really is. I eagerly await the change of President Obama. But there are serious matters at hand right now, this moment: On Saturday, there is a national protest of Proposition 8. The Founding Fathers wrote our framework in a way to extend rights to others and we have progressed throughout history and given the rights they so deserve to: Blacks. Women. Taking AWAY rights is in direct opposition to what this nation's mission statement embodies: liberty and justice FOR ALL. Regardless of your sexual orientation, this is WRONG. There is no way to spin it, no way to make it anything but WRONG. To those of you who would have voted for it had it been in your state, I say: I do not hate you nor do I condemn you. Your opposition only makes me stronger within and love myself more. I look forward to one day when you shall see that where there is love, there is joy, where there is joy there is hope and in the end those whom you have chastised shall en...

I've had my share of rollercoaster hours, Devouring the truth of me but now I am just aching... ...for redemption, ...for acknowledgement, ...for dreams, ...for reciprocity, ...for lost time, ...for my muse, ...for my parallel...

Sometimes there is nothing better than curling up in bed, devoured by blankets, and watching a beloved show and resting. I have been quite the hermit the past few weeks. I find such quiet passion and strength being alone and still, just being. Random notes abound: I got a long overdue haircut and it transformed my self image. Funny how a haircut can do that, huh? I have navigated my way through seasons 1-3 of "The West Wing" again. What a thought-provoking and deeply inspirational series that is. I am officially a 13 year old girl. I am a fan of "High School Musical 3". It is fun and made me smile the past weeks when I had endured a slew of smile-less days. I feel as though I have just shut down (not in a depressed way) to recharge and re-calibrate. It is nice to be in a place where you are the only entertainment that you need... to be self-sufficient. Living with my dear friends has been a blessing: it makes me feel part of a family once more and that is a b...

Hail to the new Commander in Chief. The energy is palpable. The joy is real. We are ready. I am thrilled to be alive in these times. I can only imagine how it must feel to African Americans to see this historic event realized. It is amazing no matter your ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation. It is the new beginning. "If our children should live to see the next century, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?" "...To reaffirm that fundamental truth, that out of many, we are ONE, that while we breathe we hope, and where we are met with cynicism and doubt and those who tell us we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: YES WE CAN!" Change happens slowly. President Obama was elected, but foster children lost last night in Arkansas. Perhaps the event that Obama's daughters shall witness is equal rights for those who happen to be gay. Small steps... things are different. I have certain...