The Roscoe's SuperSTAHHHHHR Shaking His Caboose and A Few Insights Into My Journey Through "Happy"dom

Exhibit A: This is how I actually looked whilst dancing.

Exhibit B: This is how I thought I looked whilst dancing.

May we take a moment for the word whilst? What a fun and intriguing underused li'l word. :-)

Jojo Joy and I traversed to Roscoe's, a cool ass gay bar in Chicago's "Boytown". You just cannot make up these names. It was a rollicking good time with great drinks (best Dirty Shirleys ever), stunningly handsome, cute, and beautiful lads/men/boys, a dance floor that literally vibrated from the beats o' the dj, amazing light shows during the dance o' the gays, and a kick-caboose display o' the ceiling that made me feel as though I was in the sea and in the middle of a jellyfish. The places that my mind meanders whilst the dance overtakes my extremities and very soul.... quite alarming orange blossoms, quite alarming and charming all at once.

Years ago when I came out (how peculiar is that terminology especially referring to a closet... it could have easily been a shed, a cupboard, although rather Harry Potter, an entertainment center... any small enclosed space would have done well, but the closet was chosen) I naively thought that I would find refuge and like minded men in the gay club scene.

That was not the way my life actually unfurled.

It seems that most younger gay guys that I have met (in the various locales of Little Rock, Orlando, Dallas, New York, Nashville, and Chicago) seem to want to sleep around, monogamy and/or waiting to have sex is a foreign concept, and I feel as though I am an anomaly in the gay "community". I used to become downtrodden about that, but I am now more comfortable in my own skin.

This I know:

* I am a one man guy.

* Monogamy is a foundation and something that you get instantaneously when you date me.

* I love being single and love myself. If/when I "settle down", we will have to possess the same value system and compliment each other's lives. No ludicrous drama that is borne out of insecurity and drains unnecessarily.

This is who I am and I certainly view it as just that -- whatever or whomever someone else does is his matter. I am not one to judge that, but I do know what I need and what I will give in this department.

With all of that being said, I wonder where my future love is... what he is doing now and when/if our paths and lives will connect. It is a miracle: true, mature, intimate, real, and self-aware love -- a miracle I hope to one day experience in all its glory.

But, for now, I will occasionally venture into fun little bars and shake my caboose as if I know what I am doing. There is such release and I love dancing with oodles of others that are communicating with their bodies in the primal ritual of dance. It is in my very core to just shake it sometimes and enjoy the endless deliciousness of the boy buffet... just looking, not eating -- ha ha ha ha!

An odd but extremely attractive guy wanted to go home with me. Unfortunately, he was obsessed with Paris Hilton and talked like her. I wish no one ill, but Paris is not on my "top friends" list. Plus, he was living in another world (not like the defunct soap opera) due to alcohol levels so high, he could be used to anesthetize the bar and all its patrons. Still, the offer was sweet and he was quite the looker.

Enough written.

Let me make this clear: I adore Chicago and the experiences I have had here! It is like finding a home I did not know I was missing.

Jojo Joy is a miracle unto her own.

Here's to shaking it,

dab