"Talespin" Time of the Tantalizing Two and the Tricky Tongue Talker, "To't"

Since Friday I have:
Travelled to Van Buren (2ish hours one way),
Performed our little show, done my cowboy magic feats,
Driven back (again another 2ish hours... weird if it were different heading back that venturing there),
Unpacked feverishly (the pile continues to grow and I think that it is actually spawning clones of some sort),
Recorded a DVD for an audition because I could not attend,
Gone to a tech for a show in which I am the wardrobe running crew (never done the backstage thing... hmm),
Due to being finished early, jumped in the car and went to the C-way (30 minutes) to audition in person.

WHEW.

I am SO GLAD that I have found self confidence that does not seem to wane. As I was driving to the audition, I thought, "Damn, I am exhausted. Should I really go and put this shell of a performer into the audition process, especially when they have seen a DVD of me?"

But I did.

And it made me feel like I had accomplished something worthwhile.

Shoot back to several months ago. I had to painstakingly convince myself to audition for "Sweeney Todd" and "Les Mis". In fact, I almost talked myself out of auditioning for the wondrous Miz. Think about how my life would have been lacking if I had not sucked it up and been brave.

Now I feel a profound freedom... I have gotten the bad taste of the auditioning in NYC out of my mouth. Also, I have realized that the majority of my self-worth does not reside in being an actor/singer/storyteller, I have let go of being afraid that I will not "make" it. I know that I am talented and I will simply attend the auditions and do the best that I can possibly do, make strong choices, enjoy the process, and let the cards fall where they may. Because of this viewpoint, I have performed INORDINATELY better at auditions and shows. In fact, I feel as though I have finally found my voice. Nice to have perspective about this nebulous entity that has ruled my life for so long. Nice to be ruling it for a change. I will go and do my "thang", analyze it for a bit and leave it alone, for all I can do is my best and leave the rest up to the decisions of the casting peeps. Ha, I love the word peeps.

I did well last night. I almost made out with a piano during my audition using the song "I Love a Piano". Gotta love that. It was delightful to have Karen playing the audition and then to read with Jayphen. Quin was there too. (He drove in with his "Dora" posse of two and a half year old ruffians.) The blending of two worlds is always charming and awe-inspiring.

Those auditioners saw a lot of me due to the DVD with two songs ("Treat Me Rough" and "Johanna") and then with the monologue and "I Love a Piano". It was like a Dustin Ashley Beam set.

Oddities abounded in this process of getting the DVD ready and getting into the actual audition. First, I could not find my sheet music to "Treat...". I found EVERY other piece of music I own, but not the one I needed so I had to download it (actually Jayphen did -- thanks to you Jester Poppet) and print it off and have Karen's keyboard transpose it. (Karen played the audition when she was rather "tired" and I thank her for that too.)

When I was rushing to leave to audition in the C-way (that is Conway to you non-Arkansan readers) I found that my newest selection was missing the last page. So I could not use the first piece because it was in the wrong key and the second was missing a page. The irony was not lost on me... I would sing the last page of "I Love a PIANO" acapella.

Then I arrived and tried to put my contacts in and one got stuck in my eye and I was digging in my eye like a greedy leprechaun sifting through a newfound pot of gold. Speaking of pot, when I was finished I looked like I had been smoking copious amounts of pot and realized that the contact had fallen out and was on my mid-seat compartment in the car.

So I walked into the audition...
exhausted,
music not all there,
red-eyed,
flustered...

but, (Mind over matter)
DETERMINED and READY.

This shows how far I have grown. Through all this comedy of errors, I was able to do well. I read for Carmen in "Producers". There were several others there that did a fun and compelling read, so that is up in the air. I read for "Shrew" and that was my first Shakespeare audition.

I looked at the Shakespeare side and some of it looked like Sanskrit to me. As a person who tries to possess, hone, and demonstrate an intelligent vocabulary, it is odd when there are several words and contextual meanings with which I am unfamiliar. So, I decided to be myself and ask how to pronounce a couple words and what they meant.

I read with a fellow who was a Shakespeare guy and who also read exquisitely for Carmen. (You are hysterical Josh!) We were to read one part the first time and then toggle. I have never had to do that either... read a side and look at both roles equally as diligently. We had a nice chemistry and the reading went well... except,

"to't".

I had read most of the side when I got to this word and all I could think about was Sonic and its tater TOTS. I stopped and looked at it (I had read it, but I could not wrap my mind or my words around the anomaly of this contraction.)

I halted and looked quizzically at the auditioner.

"How do you say this?"

He laughed, informed me about the word, and the audition went on swimmingly.

I had to read as an old man that wants a woman whom he will never acquire. I was told that I needed to be as big as possible and so I went there.

"That was creepy," he affirmed... and, yes, I can bring out my straight older lecherous side when it is needed.

"I probably should not tell an auditioner this, but this is my first Shakespeare side reading. Thanks," I told the auditioner at the conclusion of the reading.
"Really, good job," he said.

So, who knows if I get a role in either, but I was myself in the process (a victory and one that has been long in waiting) and I learned and realized that I can overcome anything and still deliver a product for which I am proud.

And now I want some tater to'ts!

Thanks for reading this massive entry. (hmmm, that sounds both dirty and like an alternative band.)

The well is full once more,
Dustin