Chronicles of Dustin Ashley Beam

To life, to the gods, the Fates, to whomever reads this musing or hears my heart, I proclaim: Thank the world for music, for the way it heals, it delights, it emboldens, it awakes the language of me. Buy Carrie Underwood's CD "Play On". Do it. Dustin

Oh my. Yes. Oh my. After months... MONTHS I say, I started writing the story. I story that I believe is legitimate, intriguing, nuanced, and full of merit; it possesses its own unique life. Yes, my friends, Jarryden and Noki started speaking to me again. The characters, not the outline or the story, the CHARACTERS! Neleothora and its magic will see the light of day. I am full of hope that this tale will come to be. Oh my. Yes. Oh my.

Do you ever have those days where your soul is adrift and taken a sudden whim to float in the cosmos leaving the shell here on earth behind. On those days you feel just like that, a shell. Today is one of those days. I am returning to the land of the Wickerians and Candlelonians known as Pier 1. I note how I am back at the church singing and back at the retail establishment I first worked when I arrived back home in 2005. Sometimes life just overwhelms. I am in the thick of school and assignments and singing again and working, nothing other people do not do, but it has gotten to me. My mind feels murky, my instincts shot a bit. I attended my weekly "How I Met Your Mother" and "The Big Bang Theory" watch party with SycaMoore (Ian) and had a grand ole time. Vodka of the Grey Goose variety help tremendously. Truly. I am conscious of the life shifts in my days and recently, seemingly out of the blue, there has been one hell of a life shift. I find myself more ...

One need not be a chamber to be haunted; One need not be a house; The brain has corridors surpassing Material place. - - - Emily Dickinson If a man harbors any sort of fear, it makes him landlord to a ghost. - - - Lloyd Douglas I adore this holiday, always have. Last year I found some of my traditions and am keeping them this year. "Reefer Madness: the Movie Musical" - CHECK. "Rocky Horror Picture Show" - TONIGHT. "Garfield Halloween Special" - CHECK and again TONIGHT. Last night Megan, Duvall, and I used a homemade Ouija board and it "talked" to us, really Megan and myself. We were conduits. Ha. It creeped us out and we destroyed the board we made. But, it was something both Megan and I wanted to try. I do believe there are all sorts of forces out there and that one can communicate with them if one believes strongly enough. So, here's to traditions, trying new things, pumpkins, falling leaves, costumes, drinks, haunted houses, creepy s...

Have you ever wanted something so deeply that you truly thought that it would never happen? You even decided you could live without it and then... BAM... A potential of that desire, that prayer, that longing, appears. Even though I am strong and assured now, it still brings all sorts of fears and angst screaming to the forefront of me. Oh the past and how it can colour the present and future. Must demystify all that and just let things happen the way they will, come what may. Who knew I could feel some of these emotions? Not me, says the man in fashionable glasses.

When I am needing to be the most energetic for school, job hunting, etc. I have fallen ill. Greeeeaaat. Certainly not an end of the world scenario, but damn inconvenient. Thank the good makers of TV on DVD, soups, blankets, and naps. I don't like the days where I cannot sing; it is as if I have lost a part of who I am. But it will return and I will celebrate. A couple of nights ago I carved a pumpkin and let me say it is a safe bet that I will win no awards from my finished product. It was fun nonetheless and a tad frustrating. The innards of a pumpkin are gross. Ha. I am terribly excited about Halloween and marveling in how fast this month has danced by. Much love to you who read this, Dustin PSfP: This picture serves as a representation of Halloween and also lets you know how I feel about being sick. The jack-o-lantern is both creepy and fun... crun henceforth. :-)

Today I was a little low; Nothing in particular happened, I just was. All I did for an hour or more was sing. Sing from a place of purpose, of joy, of life. A couple of months ago I named my voice. It is the MOST consistent thing in my life, my dearest friend, one of my greatest gifts, and therapy, power, love, passion, and ME all in one little voice box. My dear ALMRACERO, you are my hero, my passion, my joy, my all. Thank the world, the Fates, God, or whomever one happens to believe for this gift, this special talent that I have NEVER and promise to NEVER take for granted. I remember when I was in seventh grade riding back from an All-region Choir audition. I was sitting in the middle of the bus on the right side and I remember looking out on the grey day and praying, almost pleading to God, "Please... Please let me be able to sing." Little did I know that the next year my voice would change and the beginnings oy my musical road would unfurl. Last night I listened to s...