Do you ever have those days where your soul is adrift and taken a sudden whim to float in the cosmos leaving the shell here on earth behind. On those days you feel just like that, a shell.
Today is one of those days.
I am returning to the land of the Wickerians and Candlelonians known as Pier 1. I note how I am back at the church singing and back at the retail establishment I first worked when I arrived back home in 2005.
Sometimes life just overwhelms. I am in the thick of school and assignments and singing again and working, nothing other people do not do, but it has gotten to me. My mind feels murky, my instincts shot a bit.
I attended my weekly "How I Met Your Mother" and "The Big Bang Theory" watch party with SycaMoore (Ian) and had a grand ole time. Vodka of the Grey Goose variety help tremendously. Truly.
I am conscious of the life shifts in my days and recently, seemingly out of the blue, there has been one hell of a life shift. I find myself more reflective and conscious of what is happening around me and, quite frankly, that is saying (writing) something.
I feel outside of my own skin in a way, hard to articulate, but true nonetheless.
Demons I thought long gone chime in with their mischievous refrain; doubts I felt long subsided cling to my hopes. There is joy and I am blessed to be a vessel of that oftentimes, but it has been an odd day. Odder still for I cannot place my finger on the pulse of why.
On the Pulse of WHY...
How often that world permeates our fears, our dreams, our walks, our needs, our futures, our faith...
Until I know I will search for the pulse of why...
Love,
Dustin
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