Skip to main content

The Pulse of Why


Do you ever have those days where your soul is adrift and taken a sudden whim to float in the cosmos leaving the shell here on earth behind. On those days you feel just like that, a shell.

Today is one of those days.

I am returning to the land of the Wickerians and Candlelonians known as Pier 1. I note how I am back at the church singing and back at the retail establishment I first worked when I arrived back home in 2005.

Sometimes life just overwhelms. I am in the thick of school and assignments and singing again and working, nothing other people do not do, but it has gotten to me. My mind feels murky, my instincts shot a bit.

I attended my weekly "How I Met Your Mother" and "The Big Bang Theory" watch party with SycaMoore (Ian) and had a grand ole time. Vodka of the Grey Goose variety help tremendously. Truly.

I am conscious of the life shifts in my days and recently, seemingly out of the blue, there has been one hell of a life shift. I find myself more reflective and conscious of what is happening around me and, quite frankly, that is saying (writing) something.

I feel outside of my own skin in a way, hard to articulate, but true nonetheless.

Demons I thought long gone chime in with their mischievous refrain; doubts I felt long subsided cling to my hopes. There is joy and I am blessed to be a vessel of that oftentimes, but it has been an odd day. Odder still for I cannot place my finger on the pulse of why.

On the Pulse of WHY...

How often that world permeates our fears, our dreams, our walks, our needs, our futures, our faith...

Until I know I will search for the pulse of why...

Love,
Dustin

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Unbroken Thread

Happy Christmas. It is upon us in this hour, this time, this day... after all the fuss, the frenetic pace, it smiles as it does each year finding us in some of the same places and in some different phases. I always flip through the rolodex of my life on this day, remembering the last 30 Christmases (well I guess I don't remember the first few that well) like they are all connected in one amazing thread charting my successes, my growth, my defeats, my darkness, and my light. Technically Christmas has not really begun. I have not done the ritual of heading to my Mom's and opening gifts and waltzing to see our Christmas film, but I have already been touched by Christmas. I write a lot, in this land of musings I have shared 257 writings with you, my friend, my reader spirits. Much has happened in these past two years, but let me simply write that I was not sure that I would ever enjoy Christmas again, ever really feel connected to it, no matter what I tried to do, I felt adrift ...

Loving the Squiggly

I was typing the other day and instead of hitting the ! key I hit the ~ key. Two odd altercations happened between two friends and me via facebook so I have deactivated my account for a bit. It was hurtful and unexpected. So when I hit the ~ key it made me smile and forget all that nonsense. ~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dustin

And With This, Farewell

This blog has been a dear friend to me. I am not good at farewells, but truly this is anything but. I look at it like this - I love the phoenix, the symbolism of it all, the power of rebirth. Hence why I named my blog/musing screen after one. :-) So, I am leaving this particular blog to start another one, one that fits me NOW, the one that I can share in a new way. So this feels right. Thanks to those who have read my musings throughout the years. I hope you follow me to my new musing home entitled THE TWELVE THAT IS DUSTIN BAYLAN. Yes, I am changing the name, the story of that is on the new blog for you to read. Here is the link: http://dustinbaylan.wordpress.com/ Much love, much hope and joy again, much potential... Winks and smiles of the Cat that is Cheshire, Dustin Baylan