Skip to main content

enough


for months i have looked for you
tried the flings,
the sites,
the freedoms i never allowed myself

changed am i
never thought i,
the gay monk
would walk down some of these roads.

so full of fear,
so unknown,
why do we fear that which we do not know?
but we do

until
we can live in the fear and see that he wants to be our friend
sometimes he is warning us
often we misunderstand him

i was one of those...
rolling around in sexual guilt...
from where?
why?

live it up
enjoy
play
no regrets

the moments have washed over me
bringing new waves of promise
hurtful, tarnishing
unexpected, reveling

enough
i say
enough
not doing the searching today

jaded
not me, nor shall i ever be
that is a meek decision
i am not meek

i make this life
i alone am responsible
but enough
not looking now

perhaps
whomever you are
wherever you are
it is time for you to look

for me
for love
for what might be
for the chance

grateful
am i
for these past months
holding the hidden parts of me

exploring the me i never knew
i am free
i am laughing
but enough

a refrain pours from me:
no matter what you see
you can have what you dream
always wanted

a love
just one
who sees you
who you see...

no longer naive
am i
but standards
i have

shocked
to see parts of the world
i have
never known

my searching heart
must rest
from my refrain
the song that ushers me onward

enough i say
enough
you
come and find me

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Unbroken Thread

Happy Christmas. It is upon us in this hour, this time, this day... after all the fuss, the frenetic pace, it smiles as it does each year finding us in some of the same places and in some different phases. I always flip through the rolodex of my life on this day, remembering the last 30 Christmases (well I guess I don't remember the first few that well) like they are all connected in one amazing thread charting my successes, my growth, my defeats, my darkness, and my light. Technically Christmas has not really begun. I have not done the ritual of heading to my Mom's and opening gifts and waltzing to see our Christmas film, but I have already been touched by Christmas. I write a lot, in this land of musings I have shared 257 writings with you, my friend, my reader spirits. Much has happened in these past two years, but let me simply write that I was not sure that I would ever enjoy Christmas again, ever really feel connected to it, no matter what I tried to do, I felt adrift ...
2 comments
Read more

I Love the Clarks

I LOVE THE CLARKS!!!!!!!!!!!! (I used twelve exclamation marks/points to show the significance of the love and because twelve is my cosmic number.) It is that simple. Jay and Karen (and the illustrious Quin) allowed me to move into their lovely home under the proviso I would be out in a few days. Well that was October 18th and, look at your calendar folks, I am still here. I think that finally the light has bounced off of a nimbus cloud that I have not seen before and I might have a dwelling. But... I LOVE these two people. They just get me and leave me to my own devices. In this time where I have sequestered myself off into my own little respite lair, they have let me "do my own thing". And they are such lovely, talented, decent people. It has been my honour to get to know them more and their ultimate collaboration, THE Quin. He is the COOLEST child ever. I adore the boy. Tonight Jay, Karen, and I played a card game called Nerts. I am addicted and I saw new shades ...
5 comments
Read more

Loving the Squiggly

I was typing the other day and instead of hitting the ! key I hit the ~ key. Two odd altercations happened between two friends and me via facebook so I have deactivated my account for a bit. It was hurtful and unexpected. So when I hit the ~ key it made me smile and forget all that nonsense. ~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dustin
Post a Comment
Read more