Chronicles of Dustin Ashley Beam

Have you ever lived one of those days where small issues keep arising? Singularly they would but barely phase you, but the onslaught of them leaves you fatigued. There were multiple situations like that over and over and over today. And on a survey, I was basically labeled a racist for waiting on a Caucasian woman before I waited on an African American woman, that I did this on purpose. What? Never, ever would I do that. I despise days like these where you are constantly encountering the trivial of the world, not even real problems - they really have no lasting power and no merit... they take up space - Today my spirit is deflated and irritated. I just want to have a meal with Jer and watch some delightful film or sitcom and escape the reality of this stupid Thursday. And venting session musing concluded, Dustin

I sit here writing this in the playroom at Jay and Karen's. Quin is off to bed and the nightly ritual of toggling off brushing teeth and stories has commenced. I worked today and met Jay and Quin for dinner and came over here to bond. I miss this place, it did feel like home to me. My life is so great, but I must admit that sometimes I feel homeless. I love where I live (although I am moving this weekend - something that does not come easily for me honestly), but I do not really feel a sense of belonging like when I lived with my Mom or with Jay and Karen. I do hope that changes. I am so lucky to have the love in my life that I do, but I sometimes long for the home I have in my heart to come to fruition. I admit that maybe that is a naive creation, I do not think so, but I will admit it could be. Sometimes what I thought life would be is dramatically different than what it actually is. But, tonight, I sing a song from the depths of me ushering in a home, a place where I KNOW I b...

Today after a slew of not-feeling-like-me days, I feel like me. And I must confess: I like me. Winks, Dustin

Interesting item of life that I have discovered is that when I am living a full life and SO MUCH is happening, I do not write as often. The past few days especially could have been full of lessons, thoughts, fears, wow - I truly ran the gamut, but I was far too busy and exhausted to write any musings. But tonight I rehearsed with my Mama and sang our duet for my forthcoming concert. It is such a JOY to sing with her. I have been stressed about this event for it had to come together quickly and I have been trying to learn music and get all the necessary details sorted out. WHEW. But tonight I just sang and shared and am anticipating this Sunday night greatly. Finally, five of my little babies get to see the light of day (really it will be the dark of night, but that just sounds scary). These original songs are my heart and I cannot believe that I am getting to perform them at last. This is one of those nights in which I am living in these moments so grateful to have music as my li...

Life is good. Tiring, but good. The good kinda tiring. I feel like my writing "voice" is changing a bit. It is hard to define, but when I venture onto my musing highway, the car does not move like it once did. Not good or bad, just the change that arises with new experience. It is nice to be dancing in the good, learning and enjoying and growing. I have much to report soon and deep thoughts to share and meander, but for now, I am... GOOD. Dustin

I stumbled upon this picture of my Mother on facebook. Yes, my Mother has become a part of that world. This is a photo of her on her wedding day. She looks radiant and exquisite. I sang at the wedding and remember being overcome when I saw her - she looked perfect. It just goes to show you that you never know when the love of your heart will grace your life. Mama is so in love and so happy and I am thrilled to be her son and to have a man named Terry as my StepPapa! Look at her, my Mama Darling. She is so beautiful, my favourite person in the world. Love to her and to you always, Dustin

Right now, this very moment I am surrounded by the best that my life has to offer. I am so happy, so blessed. I am HOME. Home is most assuredly a person, not a place. I love my life, Dustin