The Musings of my Spirit

I sit here writing this in the playroom at Jay and Karen's. Quin is off to bed and the nightly ritual of toggling off brushing teeth and stories has commenced.

I worked today and met Jay and Quin for dinner and came over here to bond.

I miss this place, it did feel like home to me.

My life is so great, but I must admit that sometimes I feel homeless. I love where I live (although I am moving this weekend - something that does not come easily for me honestly), but I do not really feel a sense of belonging like when I lived with my Mom or with Jay and Karen. I do hope that changes.

I am so lucky to have the love in my life that I do, but I sometimes long for the home I have in my heart to come to fruition.

I admit that maybe that is a naive creation, I do not think so, but I will admit it could be.

Sometimes what I thought life would be is dramatically different than what it actually is.

But, tonight, I sing a song from the depths of me ushering in a home, a place where I KNOW I belong, a sense of knowing I am in my right place.

Perhaps when I least expect it, I shall find it.

Who knows, but I thought that I would share with you the musings of my spirit.

Always,
Dustin

Comments

The Unbroken Thread

Happy Christmas. It is upon us in this hour, this time, this day... after all the fuss, the frenetic pace, it smiles as it does each year finding us in some of the same places and in some different phases. I always flip through the rolodex of my life on this day, remembering the last 30 Christmases (well I guess I don't remember the first few that well) like they are all connected in one amazing thread charting my successes, my growth, my defeats, my darkness, and my light. Technically Christmas has not really begun. I have not done the ritual of heading to my Mom's and opening gifts and waltzing to see our Christmas film, but I have already been touched by Christmas. I write a lot, in this land of musings I have shared 257 writings with you, my friend, my reader spirits. Much has happened in these past two years, but let me simply write that I was not sure that I would ever enjoy Christmas again, ever really feel connected to it, no matter what I tried to do, I felt adrift ...

I Love the Clarks

I LOVE THE CLARKS!!!!!!!!!!!! (I used twelve exclamation marks/points to show the significance of the love and because twelve is my cosmic number.) It is that simple. Jay and Karen (and the illustrious Quin) allowed me to move into their lovely home under the proviso I would be out in a few days. Well that was October 18th and, look at your calendar folks, I am still here. I think that finally the light has bounced off of a nimbus cloud that I have not seen before and I might have a dwelling. But... I LOVE these two people. They just get me and leave me to my own devices. In this time where I have sequestered myself off into my own little respite lair, they have let me "do my own thing". And they are such lovely, talented, decent people. It has been my honour to get to know them more and their ultimate collaboration, THE Quin. He is the COOLEST child ever. I adore the boy. Tonight Jay, Karen, and I played a card game called Nerts. I am addicted and I saw new shades ...

Loving the Squiggly

I was typing the other day and instead of hitting the ! key I hit the ~ key. Two odd altercations happened between two friends and me via facebook so I have deactivated my account for a bit. It was hurtful and unexpected. So when I hit the ~ key it made me smile and forget all that nonsense. ~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dustin

Chronicles of Dustin Ashley Beam

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