The Musings of my Spirit

I sit here writing this in the playroom at Jay and Karen's. Quin is off to bed and the nightly ritual of toggling off brushing teeth and stories has commenced.

I worked today and met Jay and Quin for dinner and came over here to bond.

I miss this place, it did feel like home to me.

My life is so great, but I must admit that sometimes I feel homeless. I love where I live (although I am moving this weekend - something that does not come easily for me honestly), but I do not really feel a sense of belonging like when I lived with my Mom or with Jay and Karen. I do hope that changes.

I am so lucky to have the love in my life that I do, but I sometimes long for the home I have in my heart to come to fruition.

I admit that maybe that is a naive creation, I do not think so, but I will admit it could be.

Sometimes what I thought life would be is dramatically different than what it actually is.

But, tonight, I sing a song from the depths of me ushering in a home, a place where I KNOW I belong, a sense of knowing I am in my right place.

Perhaps when I least expect it, I shall find it.

Who knows, but I thought that I would share with you the musings of my spirit.

Always,
Dustin

Comments

Loving the Squiggly

I was typing the other day and instead of hitting the ! key I hit the ~ key. Two odd altercations happened between two friends and me via facebook so I have deactivated my account for a bit. It was hurtful and unexpected. So when I hit the ~ key it made me smile and forget all that nonsense. ~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dustin

Call to Action

This past Saturday I, with thousands of others across the country, attended a protest/rally of Proposition 8 and Act I (the adoption ban in Arkansas). My dear allies in this battle were Jay, Karen, their joyous son Quin, our mutual friend Greg, Amanda, Carter, Sarah Jane, Liz, and the brave Arkansans that showed up for the rally on the steps of our Capitol. It was bitterly cold and grey, but within I was ignited with passion and newfound purpose. As I listened to the stories of my fellow brothers and sisters, gay, straight, bisexual, transgendered, I was struck by the power of the many speaking as one. Then I began to visit my own story and was struck at how far I have come... to think back fourteen years ago when I had my brother tell my parents that I happened to be gay because I was so frightened as to what they would think, say, how they could ever love me, this abomination.... To now, a man standing with his friends and proclaiming "This is our right, What you have done is ...

And With This, Farewell

This blog has been a dear friend to me. I am not good at farewells, but truly this is anything but. I look at it like this - I love the phoenix, the symbolism of it all, the power of rebirth. Hence why I named my blog/musing screen after one. :-) So, I am leaving this particular blog to start another one, one that fits me NOW, the one that I can share in a new way. So this feels right. Thanks to those who have read my musings throughout the years. I hope you follow me to my new musing home entitled THE TWELVE THAT IS DUSTIN BAYLAN. Yes, I am changing the name, the story of that is on the new blog for you to read. Here is the link: http://dustinbaylan.wordpress.com/ Much love, much hope and joy again, much potential... Winks and smiles of the Cat that is Cheshire, Dustin Baylan

Chronicles of Dustin Ashley Beam

Search This Blog