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An Okay Day

I don't want to jinx it, but today there was little to no panic.
Panic has invaded my dreams, my life, my hopes for MONTHS now and I was starting to believe that I would live a life that contained that poison for the rest of my days.

How the mind and heart work are fascinating.

But somehow today I felt okay.

And okay I will graciously take.

I do not pretend that I am ready to jump back into my old life, but perhaps this horrendous chain of events has occurred to prepare me for a new life, one that is different than I could have ever anticipated.

I do not know, but I am so thankful to breathe today, a deep and full breath that shows signs that my heart will mend, that I am not a broken fragment to be written off into oblivion.

And while this might sound dramatic, if you have ever gone through an atrocious breakup and felt as though your whole life was caving in around you, then you know what I mean.

When showering is an epic event, when you feel there is NO HOPE, that you have come to the end, well, then you understand what it feels like to finally have an okay day.

So I will remember this day, this night, and hope that I can find this ME oncemore.

Dustin

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