Skip to main content

An Okay Day

I don't want to jinx it, but today there was little to no panic.
Panic has invaded my dreams, my life, my hopes for MONTHS now and I was starting to believe that I would live a life that contained that poison for the rest of my days.

How the mind and heart work are fascinating.

But somehow today I felt okay.

And okay I will graciously take.

I do not pretend that I am ready to jump back into my old life, but perhaps this horrendous chain of events has occurred to prepare me for a new life, one that is different than I could have ever anticipated.

I do not know, but I am so thankful to breathe today, a deep and full breath that shows signs that my heart will mend, that I am not a broken fragment to be written off into oblivion.

And while this might sound dramatic, if you have ever gone through an atrocious breakup and felt as though your whole life was caving in around you, then you know what I mean.

When showering is an epic event, when you feel there is NO HOPE, that you have come to the end, well, then you understand what it feels like to finally have an okay day.

So I will remember this day, this night, and hope that I can find this ME oncemore.

Dustin

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Loving the Squiggly

I was typing the other day and instead of hitting the ! key I hit the ~ key. Two odd altercations happened between two friends and me via facebook so I have deactivated my account for a bit. It was hurtful and unexpected. So when I hit the ~ key it made me smile and forget all that nonsense. ~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dustin
Post a Comment
Read more

And With This, Farewell

This blog has been a dear friend to me. I am not good at farewells, but truly this is anything but. I look at it like this - I love the phoenix, the symbolism of it all, the power of rebirth. Hence why I named my blog/musing screen after one. :-) So, I am leaving this particular blog to start another one, one that fits me NOW, the one that I can share in a new way. So this feels right. Thanks to those who have read my musings throughout the years. I hope you follow me to my new musing home entitled THE TWELVE THAT IS DUSTIN BAYLAN. Yes, I am changing the name, the story of that is on the new blog for you to read. Here is the link: http://dustinbaylan.wordpress.com/ Much love, much hope and joy again, much potential... Winks and smiles of the Cat that is Cheshire, Dustin Baylan
Post a Comment
Read more

Holding the Key

Only I am solid ground. Those whom I love - the new, the familiar - can be my circle, my connections... but the connection to self is the key I have been missing. Peace fills me as I hold the key and begin to unlock the doors of my life. Only I am solid ground and I embrace the beauty of me. Dustin
Post a Comment
Read more