Restless Morning

Waking up to a panic attack is not something I would wish upon anyone, no matter how heinous.

It has been days since I wrestled with panic, I was hoping the attacks were gone.

Alas, not this morning.

The good news?

It was not as long and I was able to calm down quicker.

Today, I am bound and determined to start mapping a new path towards joy, even if it is one windy path traversing all over this new map of my life.

And a wise friend of mine (Regi) told me to let myself be sick and take some of the pressure away. So today I am just going to be me in the place where I am, not the place I want to be and see if that makes any difference.

Dustin

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I Love the Clarks

I LOVE THE CLARKS!!!!!!!!!!!! (I used twelve exclamation marks/points to show the significance of the love and because twelve is my cosmic number.) It is that simple. Jay and Karen (and the illustrious Quin) allowed me to move into their lovely home under the proviso I would be out in a few days. Well that was October 18th and, look at your calendar folks, I am still here. I think that finally the light has bounced off of a nimbus cloud that I have not seen before and I might have a dwelling. But... I LOVE these two people. They just get me and leave me to my own devices. In this time where I have sequestered myself off into my own little respite lair, they have let me "do my own thing". And they are such lovely, talented, decent people. It has been my honour to get to know them more and their ultimate collaboration, THE Quin. He is the COOLEST child ever. I adore the boy. Tonight Jay, Karen, and I played a card game called Nerts. I am addicted and I saw new shades ...

Scampering Back From the Hiatus

I awoke with these names in my head... surely they are characters from a forthcoming story tentatively entitled, "The Merman's Song": Briinan Jossuraje Arthero Zyne What a perplexing and delicious way to greet the morning, I love it when that happens. Jer is heading over to bond and I am trying to break the habit of making him wait when he arrives for me to finish getting ready. It is a tad ridiculous and just keeps happening, one of those atrocious habits that is born out of sheer laziness and poor time management skills. I just love, love, love, love that guy. If I am the toothbrush, he is the floss, the Ron to my Harry, the Patty to my Sandi, the Pepper to my Doctor, the Dorothy to my Rose, the world's best person and my FAVOURITE. He keeps me sane, he really does. The picture is from the wedding in which I performed last weekend. I think it is a classy and interesting shot. There is loads to deliver and reveal as I took a brief hiatus, not intentionally, but I...

And With This, Farewell

This blog has been a dear friend to me. I am not good at farewells, but truly this is anything but. I look at it like this - I love the phoenix, the symbolism of it all, the power of rebirth. Hence why I named my blog/musing screen after one. :-) So, I am leaving this particular blog to start another one, one that fits me NOW, the one that I can share in a new way. So this feels right. Thanks to those who have read my musings throughout the years. I hope you follow me to my new musing home entitled THE TWELVE THAT IS DUSTIN BAYLAN. Yes, I am changing the name, the story of that is on the new blog for you to read. Here is the link: http://dustinbaylan.wordpress.com/ Much love, much hope and joy again, much potential... Winks and smiles of the Cat that is Cheshire, Dustin Baylan

Chronicles of Dustin Ashley Beam

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