Chronicles of Dustin Ashley Beam

I rarely write in an ambiguous manner, but I need to share and do not want to write every detail. Please be patient. For the past few months I have been trying to connect, trying to go on a date... there is something in me that is saying, "You are ready." I certainly know that I do not NEED a date to fill my nights, but I merely want this experience. I have probably conversed with 50 to 60 men online, in real life, etc. in the past few months. It has been a journey. Right now, I am sad for I keep hitting walls with this process and just hit one last night that made me pause and made me sad. It was not a horrible ordeal, but it was indeed another hiccup. I am growing fatigued of these hiccups, trying a various assortment of new tactics, being myself, putting myself out there, etc. I am just exhausted from this process. It really has been cathartic, but I am drained. So, that is my report tonight. I have been trying to break some habits and start anew... but I am going ...

I have done things the past couple of weeks that are so far away from who I have been, not good or bad, just different, that I am pausing to discern and understand. Some delicious experiences, some painful, some what the eff times........ All worthy, all worth it, all spectacular on some level. I am a creature in change, transforming into something I never knew I could be. The past couple of months have been so weird, so hard, so amazing, so EVERYTHING. Wow... Dustin

Have you ever listened to the trees at night? Really listened. Their simple song winds and bends, swaying in tune with the distinct rhythm of time itself. It is a sight to behold. Both Tolkien and Lewis were right - Trees ARE magical. Thank you, bark of the ancients, for singing to me. I issue you my praise, my truth, ...my all... Smiling, Dustin

Happy Birthday Dad. I feel you at the oddest and most impeccable of times, your timing mischievous and unflinching. You are still every bit as real as when you were here asking me, "Have you checked your oil today?". March 23rd will never be the same for me again. And it should not. It is a date when I remember you: the man that gave me life and was born on this March day, a man that I will NEVER... EVER... EVER... forget. A man that shaped the MAN I am and am becoming. (Oh how I wish you were here sometimes, just to see, to talk, to hug...) In every lyric, every melody, every show, every nuance, every breath you dwell. I love you and the artistry I embody exemplifies that.... I miss you more than any blog could ever say, but I wanted to write something and not fall into the wordless abyss... Together, you and I shall defy it. You make me stronger. There is an afterlife for I know you are ALIVE in some capacity and I feel it almost everyday. I lo...

The past couple weeks I have been running a cerebral marathon: my mind analyzing, ingesting, and bounding about from all the new and the upcoming. How sweet to have blog block because I have SO MUCH I could tell you and just have not figured out the words. I feel it brimming and that it shall culminate into a rather extensive entry. I cannot wait to write it and share soon... Until then... About once a week or so (sometimes more, sometimes less) I visit sandipatty.com. I mentioned that I will devote a blog to her soon for even those who know I adore her (anyone that has known me for a few minutes in most cases) do not know the full extent of why. Tonight I looked and noticed that she is releasing a new CD!!!!!!! entitled: Simply Sandi Just her at the piano singing. It is due out May 5th... so I will get the CD and then attend her concerts in OH later that weekend. That is going to be one hell of week. (HA that I wrote "hell" when she is a Christian artist) The picture I...

Tonight I got snockered with some bombastic leprechauns, dabbled in the cuisine of Acadia, conversed with some drunk oddities, called and text people in quite a state of lowered inhibitions/let's talk about life and giggle, and discussed trivial matters (Is "Sweeney Todd" actually a good film, why do I like "Twilight", etc.) as if life depended on how I articulated my stance in these matters. What an odd, fun, new, out-of-the-comfort zone night for me. Gloriously uncomfortable and disgusting decadent. YAY. Every day I seem to be doing something I have never done before: from the tiny to the grand. It is an experiment and I am loving and loathing it, and all the intoxicating in-betweens. (Yes, not-so-clever pun intended.) I hope that everyone had a wonderful St. Patty's day! (oh my, that is like Sandi Patty, but not at all...) Love, The DABalicious Leprechaun Loving Lush

I am charmed, bewitched, and surprised by the elasticity of life... "It winds and bends, but where it ends depends on only me." Breathing in, Dustin

Last night I witnessed the production, "Lonely Planet" at The Weekend Theater. It washed over me and swept through all the hues of my emotional spectrum. It was gripping. I wanted to leave the theatre and not talk to anyone afterwards. I needed to be with my thoughts. I read through the play a few times with Jay, but seeing it live and hearing the dialogue, the monologues, the story and watching my dear friends Duane and Jay act so sincerely was just... a spiritual experience. I love the play and think that it is graceful, witty, heartfelt, and unique. I love live theatre and how it can change you in a matter of a few lines. "Lonely Planet" resonated with me on a number of levels and I am still processing the performance. Thanks to Jay, Duane, Jamie, all those involved with the production, and to Mr. Dietz for writing a commanding play that pays tribute to lives lost and a friendship that can endure these tragedies. Much love to all of you, Dustin

cold... rainy... grey... pensive... the pinwheel of change is turning, sometimes bravely, others cautiously, always new, unexpected. tanning... writing... absorbing... exploring... the boundaries of me. ebb... flow... give... take... all of me displayed and shifting. confident... fatigued... alive... weary... the yin and yang of me. personal... oddities... pauses... acts... of things for which i have held fear and trepidation for far too long. learning... greeting... surveying... meeting... the whole of me, the newness is swaying in rhythm to the familiar in this pinwheel of change, of time, of me.

I "phase" the bestest of the bestest. ("Wransformer" anyone?) That is all I am gonna say. With a wink, a grin, a nod, and a kick (because I'm TTHHIIRRTTYYYYYYY!), Dustin

A dear friend of mine was down so we spent the night shopping, eating, conversing, drinking, learning more of each others' story. That is a night well spent. I bought a cool ass new wallet, sunshades, sneakers (they are grey, orange, and green and have a rabbit on the back -- you cannot make this stuff up), and pj bottoms. Operation: Sexify Mission 1.3609 (OSM) accomplished and targets acquired. Then we found a restaurant called "Scallions" and the environment, the food, and the service were TOP DRAWER. If I could have found a way to absorb the food into my skin so I could carry it with me always, I would have done just that. I will hop over to the lab and start to finagle with the Epidermis Food Experiment of Joy. (henceforth dubbed E.F.E.J.) And "scallion" is a mysterious, charming word. "Scallion...", like Mufasa, but then again not. I found the new "Star Trek" trailer. Holy Mother of what the hell cinematic bliss and popcorn is that...

I feel as though my life has been an orange for the past few years, a fruit that I love, but one to which I have grown accustomed, one without pizazz or panache. Today life became a kiwi. And my hunger is insatiable and I am loving the new tastes and scents. What a blissfully, breezy, perfect emerald kiwi of a day. Mmmm, Me (I would think that you know the writer of the musings by now)

Last night I shared a quiet night with a friend I respect, love, and am honoured to know. That would be the graceful, angelic, and earnest LITERAL GIRL (Or Karen Q. Cutie). Star of India (mmmm quality yummy in my tummyness), Singing through some of my new tunes, Watching the "Idol" and critiquing (WOW to Li'l Rounds and WOW squared to the name "Li'l Rounds"), Reading my stories to KQ, Discussing her adorable creation and my nephew (I swear we are in the same bloodline, if not then we are most assuredly in the same HEARTline...) Quin, the most hysterical and charming child I have ever known, Playing "Civilization" (as if I needed a NEW obsession), and Just bonding and seeing each other once more. I have said it before, but I shall say it again: KQ, Quinster, and Jay Ray are incomparable roomies. I love my new place, but I do miss them and our nights of Nerts, drinkies, and I even miss "Dora". Good that they live only a few miles away. ...

Ladies and gentleman, cats, dogs, gnomes, boggarts, Mad Hatters, poppets... This is my 100th blog!!!!!!!!!!!!! Golly gee. (You must be joshin'!) I have hit that benchmark, if I were a sitcom I would be almost certainly guaranteed syndication. In the past 99... I have shared my path through grief, returning to musical theatre, my flossing and "poppet" obsessions, my passions, fears, hopes, mission statements, and joys. I grew up in a family where my Dad was in AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) and my Mom was in Al-Anon (spouses of alcoholics) and those teachings helped shape me, they were a part of my heritage. One portion of the meetings is "sharing your story". You are to tell your journey, warts and all. I never knew how much that particular concept affected me until I started writing my musings. These writings have aided in flaming the passion of writing songs, short stories, and novels, all of which are works in progress and I hope some of them shall debut later t...

"Somebody save me" from these superpowers of hotdom. I have some Kryptonian in me, I can feel the DNA percolating. They are like walking art, ah, Lois and Clark. Gotta love 'em.

Today I felt like a children's theatre ROCK STAR, delivery my tunes and words of the magnifying glass truth that can only be experienced when performing in front of a captive, child audience. "Yahoo, I think I am in love!" Gleeful giggles...

What if everyone's face were indeed a book... What would yours say?

I think that we should start calling glasses "spectacles" as we did in the past because, let's face it, "spectacles" is a damn fun little word.

I like the clickety-clickety-clack-clack of the keys whilst I type on my laptop, Phoebo. It is like my own personal "You've Got Mail" and I love getting mail. Except in my little domain, I shall reference it as "You POSSESS Mail" as "You've Got" gives me the lethargic language-using willies. You (HAVE) Got Mail... (Clears throat)... Gulp... Yikes. But back to the clickety-clickety-clack-clack keys.

I am glad Brown acquired its own catchy li'l slogan for I often feel it is a sad, overlooked colour.

(I awoke with this story in my head and it merely poured out of me. It is VERY unlike me to share a story that is not edited and BRAND new, but I thought that I would to highlight the wonder of the muse. I was fast asleep and this story said, "Wake up, it is time to write me." I do not feel that it will be any longer than twenty to thirty pages, but one never knows with the perplexing muse. This dream is born out of a story my Mom told me where, as a young girl, she awoke to find a demon at the edge of her bed. Most do not believe her and brush the story aside as the overactive imagination of a child. To this day, she attests this happened. I believe her. My Mother is open to energies and experiences others might not understand and even scoff that she does, but I KNOW she does. So, this story will be a fantasy story about a TRUE event that happened to my Mama that others would label fantasy, others would label an otherworldly visitation. I hope that you enjoy.......