I rarely write in an ambiguous manner, but I need to share and do not want to write every detail. Please be patient.
For the past few months I have been trying to connect, trying to go on a date... there is something in me that is saying, "You are ready." I certainly know that I do not NEED a date to fill my nights, but I merely want this experience.
I have probably conversed with 50 to 60 men online, in real life, etc. in the past few months. It has been a journey.
Right now, I am sad for I keep hitting walls with this process and just hit one last night that made me pause and made me sad.
It was not a horrible ordeal, but it was indeed another hiccup. I am growing fatigued of these hiccups, trying a various assortment of new tactics, being myself, putting myself out there, etc.
I am just exhausted from this process. It really has been cathartic, but I am drained.
So, that is my report tonight. I have been trying to break some habits and start anew... but I am going to take a reprieve for a bit.
I am going to hold my breath and ingest some emotional sugar so I can escape these hiccups of oddity.
Fatigued but never broken,
Dustin
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