Chronicles of Dustin Ashley Beam

Still on hiatus... apparently I need to make sure I understand what that means, but I had to pop in for a moment and say... Life is so beautiful now with just some minor changes to my life and schedule. I am taking control of my life and changing some habits. So empowering and wonderful and I am pleasantly fatigued. :-) I talked with God last night, in a way I have not done in YEARS. It was... just... home. If you feel just an ounce of the grace I have been afforded the past few days then you are blessed beyond measure. I will see you soon, Dustin

Hopeless - the scariest of feelings... This week... I have been sick and on medicine and on my couch. There were no words, no songs, only illness and worries... and hopelessness, about school, life, money, and the potentials and the perhaps. But, as always seems to happen, things change... and in my favour. I am continually blessed. There is not one way, but many ways, many opportunities waiting just around the bend. I got a grade changed and will get my financial aid. I cannot tell you how relieved that makes me feel. I thought that I was going to have to save up enough money to take some classes and get back in good standing with the school. It is a big focus this year to get HEALTHY. I am so darn tired of getting sick and I have to change some deeply entrenched habits. It will not be easy, but the best things in life are not easily attained. :-) I know that I am breaking my own rules in writing this blog (since I wrote that i was taking a month off of writing), but I had to sh...

For over two years I have written musings and shared my stories. Some patterns have emerged, some paradigms have been broken. I am trying to figure out how to stay in school, make my schedule more consistent, and many other exciting items. I just feel that I need some down time, some ME time... So, I am taking a hiatus from my blog, at least taking the month of January to redefine. I am not sure what I want to share now, the topics that make sense to me... I thank you for reading, I really do. I am sure that I will return after I take some time. I even plan on reading all the blogs and looking at the past and planning for the future. Miss me while I am gone please. Winks. Much love, Dustin

Sometimes life brings you a person that you need, right then and there. That person is Brie. Thank you for: making me laugh, helping me finally feel like I am home, taking care of me when I am sick, delighting in my eccentricities, listening to me, trusting me, having the best comedic timing, putting me in my place, understanding what I need, being the woman I adore. You are a part of my family. I have NEVER taken someone to a family event during the holidays. Thanks for jumping in and being yourself. I love you more than you could ever know. And we are the Gellers! To my Monica From Phroebe Love, Dustin

Today I went to Rave with Jer and Mer and saw "Princess and the Frog". It was GLORIOUS! I looked up show times for Thursday instead of Friday so we arrived for a 415 show that did not exist, but there was a 525 one. So Jer, Mer, and I sat on the bench inside the theatre and people watched. Amidst the chaos (there were SO MANY people there - wow), a lady accidentally dropped a tampon on the floor. I did not witness which lady or the actual dropping... but for ten to fifteen minutes I was delighted as I watched people kick it and look down to see what was on the floor, and look down and experience reactions ranging from mortified to tickled to embarrassed. Oh that stray tampon, how it made me smile. People are so funny to watch sometimes especially when they are experiencing something that should not be happening in the current environment. So this musing is dedicated to that tampon and how it made me smile on this, the New Year. Love, Dustin

A few of us (Duvall, Brie, Jer, Jamie, and I) moved Duvall's room and each time we moved things, we took a shot. Fun. Hilarity. Ensued. High. Pitched. Laughs. Much. Needed. Frivolity. Tomorrow is the start of a new year. For some reason I do not like this particular holiday, I always feel much pressure. But I have some exciting things planned for me in 2010. Wow, a decade down, they seem to fly by now. What. A. Time. Ha. To. Tonight.

I find myself listening to songs I have loved for years, letting their lyrics and familiar melodies soothe me, transport me to the tranquil trail right before sleep... yes, I am writing but in no time I shall be asleep. Mind meanderings, how I visit these trails often, some are new to me, some trails I have known most of my days. Right now my mind meanders to love of the romantic persuasion. That is certainly not a new topic of mine. I have wanted it for so long and tried to procure it this year. I laugh at my efforts like an older man laughs at a younger man who is trying and not understanding that the best in life is not found when seeking, but when one lets go. No, I am not in love. Do not misread. But I am thinking about love and all that requires differently. I know myself in the realm of people so well, how to talk to new people, how to make inter-personal relationships work, but get me around a man I like and... Gyidhalfhgftekmfbnabvsjnaskfnkjyei! (That is the indiscernible ...