Much Needed Silence

The past few days I have liked the darkness, the silence of my room. I have not come out much and have watched "Sleepless in Seattle" over and over and over and over.

I started wondering why I want to be alone (I am not depressed at all) and started doing the roommate math.

I have lived with 41 different people in my life.
I have lived in 21 different living environments not including all the different times I moved around with my family as a kid.

I have hit a wall where I just want ME time and a lot of it, no talking, no sharing, just alone time.

In this much needed silence I find that I am a much simpler person than I once was, that I really love the quiet, and that it is time to live alone soon.

I have done the roomie thing more than anyone I know and met some wonderful people, but I am overloaded with that experience.

So, back to "Sleepless in Seattle" and my much needed silence.

Dustin

Comments

The Unbroken Thread

Happy Christmas. It is upon us in this hour, this time, this day... after all the fuss, the frenetic pace, it smiles as it does each year finding us in some of the same places and in some different phases. I always flip through the rolodex of my life on this day, remembering the last 30 Christmases (well I guess I don't remember the first few that well) like they are all connected in one amazing thread charting my successes, my growth, my defeats, my darkness, and my light. Technically Christmas has not really begun. I have not done the ritual of heading to my Mom's and opening gifts and waltzing to see our Christmas film, but I have already been touched by Christmas. I write a lot, in this land of musings I have shared 257 writings with you, my friend, my reader spirits. Much has happened in these past two years, but let me simply write that I was not sure that I would ever enjoy Christmas again, ever really feel connected to it, no matter what I tried to do, I felt adrift ...

Loving the Squiggly

I was typing the other day and instead of hitting the ! key I hit the ~ key. Two odd altercations happened between two friends and me via facebook so I have deactivated my account for a bit. It was hurtful and unexpected. So when I hit the ~ key it made me smile and forget all that nonsense. ~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dustin

Holding the Key

Only I am solid ground. Those whom I love - the new, the familiar - can be my circle, my connections... but the connection to self is the key I have been missing. Peace fills me as I hold the key and begin to unlock the doors of my life. Only I am solid ground and I embrace the beauty of me. Dustin

Chronicles of Dustin Ashley Beam

Search This Blog