Confessions

Sometimes I raise my arms slowly like I am singing the ultimate phrase of a song in a concert where the audience is captivated. Odd thing is, I never sing a note during this. I just raise my arms slowly.

I bought nose hair trimmers yesterday. I thought I looked good the other day and looked in the mirror to behold a forest of nasal buddies that NO ONE wants to see.

I found my first ear hair. Really?

Sometimes I do not feel like my "real" life has started.

If I could do anything, I would sing and tell my stories through song.

I used to want to talk everything out and now I would rather let most things lie and see what happens organically.

The holidays depress me so.

I wish my Dad knew the man I am today.

Sometimes life makes me mad: the changes, the not knowing of it all.

Those very reasons are also why I love life.

I simply cannot stand pissy gay men. They are like odd party favour peacocks that should be put down.

Sometimes, often really these days, I am not sure there is a guy out there for me. Not in the "please tell me I am worth it" way. I know I am worth it... just saying I am not sure he really exists.

Sometimes I am not sure how much I love theatre. At times, I find it silly.

Very few people hold my interest very long.

I like being confident.

Sex for only the sake of sex can get old really quickly.

I like writing to do lists, they make me feel alive.

I think that I have just about the best handwriting I have ever seen.

Sometimes I get weary of life lessons.

Sometimes I am a complete and utter shit ass piss ant cry baby. In these times, I try to close my door and escape into the realm of Central Perk or the Pie Hole or the West Wing.

I loathe that we have to worry about money. I wish we could do what we loved and live off the land, etc. I think that life has gotten far too complicated.

Most gay guys I seem to meet make me think "I am glad I am not like them."

I am scared my CD will sound like a piece of shit.

I feel like all I do is laundry sometimes.

I want a dog and a bird.

I wonder if I should have a kid.

Sometimes I feel like I live my life in a messy way. I look at the "put-togethers" and wonder how they do it, find the consistency. Other times I think that is what makes me the grand human I am. :-)

Almost every day, I think about performing a cabaret/concert/telling stories. It is me.

Here are just a few confessions given to you. Do with them what you will.

(This is a quote from "You've Got Mail" that I have loved for years. Somehow, I find it applicable for this musing.)

"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, not small, but valuable. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void."

Dustin