Sometimes I raise my arms slowly like I am singing the ultimate phrase of a song in a concert where the audience is captivated. Odd thing is, I never sing a note during this. I just raise my arms slowly.
I bought nose hair trimmers yesterday. I thought I looked good the other day and looked in the mirror to behold a forest of nasal buddies that NO ONE wants to see.
I found my first ear hair. Really?
Sometimes I do not feel like my "real" life has started.
If I could do anything, I would sing and tell my stories through song.
I used to want to talk everything out and now I would rather let most things lie and see what happens organically.
The holidays depress me so.
I wish my Dad knew the man I am today.
Sometimes life makes me mad: the changes, the not knowing of it all.
Those very reasons are also why I love life.
I simply cannot stand pissy gay men. They are like odd party favour peacocks that should be put down.
Sometimes, often really these days, I am not sure there is a guy out there for me. Not in the "please tell me I am worth it" way. I know I am worth it... just saying I am not sure he really exists.
Sometimes I am not sure how much I love theatre. At times, I find it silly.
Very few people hold my interest very long.
I like being confident.
Sex for only the sake of sex can get old really quickly.
I like writing to do lists, they make me feel alive.
I think that I have just about the best handwriting I have ever seen.
Sometimes I get weary of life lessons.
Sometimes I am a complete and utter shit ass piss ant cry baby. In these times, I try to close my door and escape into the realm of Central Perk or the Pie Hole or the West Wing.
I loathe that we have to worry about money. I wish we could do what we loved and live off the land, etc. I think that life has gotten far too complicated.
Most gay guys I seem to meet make me think "I am glad I am not like them."
I am scared my CD will sound like a piece of shit.
I feel like all I do is laundry sometimes.
I want a dog and a bird.
I wonder if I should have a kid.
Sometimes I feel like I live my life in a messy way. I look at the "put-togethers" and wonder how they do it, find the consistency. Other times I think that is what makes me the grand human I am. :-)
Almost every day, I think about performing a cabaret/concert/telling stories. It is me.
Here are just a few confessions given to you. Do with them what you will.
(This is a quote from "You've Got Mail" that I have loved for years. Somehow, I find it applicable for this musing.)
"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, not small, but valuable. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void."
Dustin
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