It happened.
Somehow every year around this time my heart bounds into holiday mode. It is an enigmatic mesh of peace, paradox, rumination, revelry, abasement, and tenebrosity.
Its inveigling nature coaxes me into submission. I accept every year with both wonder and chagrin.
This year as the Holidays approach, I have decided to pay homage to the people, entertainers, and creations that make it all worthwhile in my life.
The first shall be Gavin Creel.
He is one of my favourite artists because his voice IS music to me. He is one of those that was destined to be a singer, period. I had the opportunity to write to him on facebook and he responded. That is the wondrous facet of facebook: the ability to connect. When I first contacted him last year, I posed a few silly questions to him so I went ahead and answered those this time. He is a gem of a human being and his voice is superb... by far he is my favourite male vocalist.
Go to www.gavincreel.com for information about him and purchase "Goodtimenation" for it is a thrilling listen with some funkalicious tunes. :-)
Here is the message:
(Title) I appreciate you and other items...
Gavin:
I wanted to take an opportunity and share a few items with you. I just reread what I wrote you almost a year ago and I am such an oddball... but the statements still ring true.
First and foremost, I have been thinking about writing to you but was unsure of how I wanted to articulate my message. This is in stark contrast to how I tend to be in my interactions, but it was difficult emotional terrain to traverse...
Disclaimer 1: This is overwhelming and intense material, but I am sending it to you because I feel it is the right thing to do and to issue my thankfulness.
Disclaimer 2: I might fumble this a bit, but I hope that you garner the truth of my statements.
My Dad died on December 1. 2006. Understandably, I was devastated as we all thought that he was getting better. One is simply not the same after one has to tell Mom that Dad's wishes have to be honoured and that he HAS to be taken off life support.
I lived with Mom at the time and was there for all the stages of insurmountable grief. There are no words to articulate the loss, the hole, the void, the nothing that seems to envelop you. Since I am an actor, I tend to role-play myriad scenarios and had thought about how I would handle my parent’s death.
Boy, was I so far off the mark - It is almost laughable.
There were only a few beacons that brought me to restoration, to hope, to a new day.
And one of those was you.
There is no other way to write it. I purchased your “Goodtimenation” CD a little bit after his death and could not stop listening to it. Late last year, I had the opportunity to converse with one of my favourite singers and to read her a prepared statement (in a card with glorious font - you are really missing out because you cannot see my fonts - when other guys were playing sports, I was writing. Cursive made my life wonderful... but I digress) and inform her that her voice had made a terrible chapter bearable. She had released a grief number a few months after Dad and I almost had to pull off the road on the initial listening.
During the first several months of 2007, I toggled between her CD and yours. Hers was cathartic and discussed my journey, yours was thrilling and fun and made me dance and smile.
I had a chance to share with her for a few minutes. We both cried and hugged and she certainly liked my doodles. :-)
And, although it is over the internet, I wanted to provide the same opportunity to you. So here is an internet hug. :-)
I almost did not write to you because I thought it would put some caste system in this dynamic, that I am the fan and you the singer/actor/writer... because I act, sing, write, and all that business and did not want to seem as though I was some teenage girl that was screaming “Love me Gavin. You are so amazing and beautiful.”
Then I realized that is just plain silly. Because, to me, you are both of those adjectives. :-) (just not in a screamy girl way, well maybe on Tuesdays.)
I know that I do not know you and maybe never will (although I just did “Les Mis” with Nina Sturtz and she said to say “hi”. You gave her a voice lesson at Michigan and she spoke favourably of you), but I will simply say:
Being an artist myself, I know how it elates me when I have inspired another fellow journeyer. So, thank you for your artistry. I will forever follow your career and support you in any capacity I am able. Your voice (and funky tunes) helped make my world make sense in a time when NOTHING made sense.
Thank you for being my beacon, my song, my escape. It will not be forgotten.
I think we all hope to make the world a better place than the way we found it and I wanted to let you know, in my little world, you have done just that and so much more.
With the utmost of joy,
Dustin Ashley Beam
(This could serve as a post script, but it would be too long. I wanted to answer the questions I posed to you in our last conversations. It is only fair. I am sure you have been awaiting the answers. Ha. Also, I wrote a blog about Prop 8 and then happened on your blog and was struck by their similarities. I would say that it was a moving blog, but it would be a bit self-serving since ours were so similar, but it was a wonderful message... It is an exciting and enthralling time to be alive, is it not?)
Question one: Chocolate or caramel? Chocolate, but I love to say the word “caramel”.
Question two: Friends or Seinfeld? Friends. During the grief, I rented some and it was the first time my Mom laughed. I promptly bought the entire series and have been an ardent fan ever since. It is another thing that helped me endure.
Question three: If your essence could be exemplified by an inanimate object, what would it be? Why? I would be the CLUE board game because I am childlike, fun, and open to a certain extent but one has to put in some time to get to know the full story, the secret passages, and be faithful to discover the full story. Plus, I love CLUE the game and the film. :-)
Question four: I ask you this my pally pal pal... What is the sexiest farm animal?
I wholeheartedly concur... it is the horse. Since I cannot read your tone nor do I know you, I cannot tell if that was some sort of innuendo in your answer. If it was, then well played. If not, well... the horse is genuinely attractive.
Question five: Have you received your acceptance letter to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry? I have not received my letter. However, I am teaching an Undergrad Musical Theatre program to those witches and wizards who are not Quidditch-inclined. (I adore the Harry Potter series.)
I thank you for reading.
And facebook scene, poppet.
DAB
HIS RESPONSE:
wow. thank you so much. i am so glad that even in a small way, my music helped you through that tough time. can't imagine losing my dad, so...i'm so sorry.
all the best to you. and thank you for that amazing message.
g
That is Homage Part One: Gavin Creel
Life is RESPLENDENT!
Dustin
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