The Musings of my Spirit

I sit here writing this in the playroom at Jay and Karen's. Quin is off to bed and the nightly ritual of toggling off brushing teeth and stories has commenced.

I worked today and met Jay and Quin for dinner and came over here to bond.

I miss this place, it did feel like home to me.

My life is so great, but I must admit that sometimes I feel homeless. I love where I live (although I am moving this weekend - something that does not come easily for me honestly), but I do not really feel a sense of belonging like when I lived with my Mom or with Jay and Karen. I do hope that changes.

I am so lucky to have the love in my life that I do, but I sometimes long for the home I have in my heart to come to fruition.

I admit that maybe that is a naive creation, I do not think so, but I will admit it could be.

Sometimes what I thought life would be is dramatically different than what it actually is.

But, tonight, I sing a song from the depths of me ushering in a home, a place where I KNOW I belong, a sense of knowing I am in my right place.

Perhaps when I least expect it, I shall find it.

Who knows, but I thought that I would share with you the musings of my spirit.

Always,
Dustin

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The Kick Ass Brothers (And the Theatre Room I Am Going to Steal)

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Call to Action

This past Saturday I, with thousands of others across the country, attended a protest/rally of Proposition 8 and Act I (the adoption ban in Arkansas). My dear allies in this battle were Jay, Karen, their joyous son Quin, our mutual friend Greg, Amanda, Carter, Sarah Jane, Liz, and the brave Arkansans that showed up for the rally on the steps of our Capitol. It was bitterly cold and grey, but within I was ignited with passion and newfound purpose. As I listened to the stories of my fellow brothers and sisters, gay, straight, bisexual, transgendered, I was struck by the power of the many speaking as one. Then I began to visit my own story and was struck at how far I have come... to think back fourteen years ago when I had my brother tell my parents that I happened to be gay because I was so frightened as to what they would think, say, how they could ever love me, this abomination.... To now, a man standing with his friends and proclaiming "This is our right, What you have done is ...

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The death of my Father has coloured the choices I make, the way I live, and the values I hold dear. Sometimes, I am surprised the extent to which it has affected me. I equate it to a new room on the house: this room of grief. For several months both my Mother and I lived in only that room and throughout this process we have ventured back into the rest of the home and, finally, back in to the world. But, from time to time we visit the room again and take a nap, meditate, knowing that room is forever a part of us. I believe that when one experiences a deep shifting to one end of the emotional spectrum, both sides actually strengthen and grow. For quite sometime although there have been some thrilling and touching moments, I think my heart was used to dwelling in the darker end. But.... In the past few days I have had the privilege of performing in a capable production of Sweeney Todd . I portray Anthony, a love-struck sailor. It has been three years since I have performed in a mus...

Chronicles of Dustin Ashley Beam

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