Monday, December 8, 2008
Vanishing (My Evanescence)
–verb (used without object)
1. to disappear from sight, esp. quickly; become invisible: The frost vanished when the sun came out.
2. to go away, esp. furtively or mysteriously; disappear by quick departure: The thief vanished in the night.
3. to disappear by ceasing to exist; come to an end: The pain vanished after he took an aspirin.
ev⋅a⋅nesce [ev-uh-nes, ev-uh-nes]
–verb (used without object), -nesced, -nesc⋅ing.
to disappear gradually; vanish; fade away.
–verb (used without object), -nat⋅ed, -nat⋅ing.
1. Zoology. to spend the winter in close quarters in a dormant condition, as bears and certain other animals. Compare estivate.
2. to withdraw or be in seclusion; retire.
I am vanishing. I am donning my emotional invisibility cloak.
This is neither a bad or a good thing. It is what I need to do.
I have a few upcoming singing gigs and I shall attend those without the cloak, but I am loving the quiet and stillness of my room.
For the past few weeks I have been living primarily in that space. I enjoy the solitude. After the rocky nature of the past few months (and years), it is relieving to be alone, reading fantasy novels and watching beloved shows.
I feel as though I am being quite primal and hibernating. Henceforth, I shall be called Dusty, the bear. (NEVER call me that, but I can call me that.) I love the synonym for vanish which is evanesce. The word sounds magical. To make this clear, I see vanishing as a wondrous stage, akin to the cocoon before the hatching of the butterfly. People in my life have been inquiring about my definition of vanishing, so I wanted to provide that with the dictionary definition and the Dustin definition. I am nothing if not thorough.
Venturing to the simple, the tranquil, the within, I vanish to learn, to rest, to see...