Saturday, January 10, 2009

The Apathetic Nipple

There is a friend of my brother's that is the physical representation of "cool" and, during my adolescent years, he was my crush, my unforgettable unrequited. One day he discussed girls licking their guy's nipples.

"I just don't get it... why they do it. It does NOTHING for me yet they all seem to like it."

THIS I remember. I forget to pick up the necessary item at the grocery store, but a man whose nipple I shall never lick, and apparently even if I did it would prove to be a lackluster event on his end, now that is what I can recall on a dime.

Ah, the unattainable man, the unpredictable mind, and the apathetic nipple.


I really enjoy researching online little tidbits that are appropriate for the current musing... Here is an intriguing one about men's nipples (Call them nee-nees... It will make you giggle. Come on, just do it. Everyone is. Be the COOL kid.)

Nipples: It’s About Science, People

The reason men have nipples is because our lactiferous ducts develop before testosterone enters the fetal picture. (Yes, we all start as females.) In fact, male mammary tissue can be stimulated to lactate. In Aka culture of Africa - reportedly home of the best fathers on earth - the dads frequently suckle their babies while mom goes off to hunt.

Nipples are not the only thing men and women have in common. Men also possess a “leftover” uterus. It hangs off the prostate gland. We have a lot of useless body parts leftover from previous adventures in evolution. Wisdom teeth, the coccyx, the appendix, and in fact, body hair are all unnecessary remnants of our evolutionary past. Who knows what we’ll look like a few million years from now! (I predict text message thumbs.)


Anonymous said...

Brandon's best friend? No... I won't go there! I remember one of Brian's next door "skater" neighbors asking me to feel his silk boxers, all the time he's looking at me with a seductive grin. Something I will never forget, yet seldom regret doing!

Anonymous said...

God, the 90's were a great time to be alive!