Now I CHOOSE the Joy

Tonight Duvall, Jer, Megan, Jamie, and I ate a meal together. The first three and I grocery shopped together and made steak, salad, bread, and baked potatoes together. Jamie brought a Mmm mmm dessert.

It was like a family talking, cooking, and eating together. It was thrilling and joyous.

Then, Brie came over. Jamie went home. Duvall went to work. We talked, drank and watched (wait for it) "Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors" and then Duvall came home and watched the end with us.

He then read a schoolbook with so many double entendres it is impossible that it was not meant intentionally. He read it aloud in two of the funniest voices EVER.

We laughed and laughed and giggled and reveled in each others joy and company.

Tonight was one of the best nights I have ever lived, period. And it was simple, true, and full of just being ourselves. THESE are my favourite times, the ones that heal and propel me forward and make me blessed to be alive and who I am, where I am, and arriving at a place where I can see the befores and just smile at the pain and say, "You were a comfort to me and a life I knew for far too long."

"Now I CHOOSE the joy."

And it is ALWAYS a choice.

I could write on and on and on about this night, but let me say this:

My friends make me happy. Feeling at home makes me happy. Food always makes me happy.

I am just happy and I want to give that to the world, to anyone that is not happy, I want to hug them and share my energy and let them laugh with me and smile knowing there is SO MUCH out there, so much to conquer, and so much to live and love.

And I love you Jer, Brie, Megan, Jamie, and Duvall (in the order of how long I have known you): my odd little family. :-)

With the warmest of smiles and deepest of joys,
Dustin

Comments

The Unbroken Thread

Happy Christmas. It is upon us in this hour, this time, this day... after all the fuss, the frenetic pace, it smiles as it does each year finding us in some of the same places and in some different phases. I always flip through the rolodex of my life on this day, remembering the last 30 Christmases (well I guess I don't remember the first few that well) like they are all connected in one amazing thread charting my successes, my growth, my defeats, my darkness, and my light. Technically Christmas has not really begun. I have not done the ritual of heading to my Mom's and opening gifts and waltzing to see our Christmas film, but I have already been touched by Christmas. I write a lot, in this land of musings I have shared 257 writings with you, my friend, my reader spirits. Much has happened in these past two years, but let me simply write that I was not sure that I would ever enjoy Christmas again, ever really feel connected to it, no matter what I tried to do, I felt adrift ...

Loving the Squiggly

I was typing the other day and instead of hitting the ! key I hit the ~ key. Two odd altercations happened between two friends and me via facebook so I have deactivated my account for a bit. It was hurtful and unexpected. So when I hit the ~ key it made me smile and forget all that nonsense. ~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dustin

And With This, Farewell

This blog has been a dear friend to me. I am not good at farewells, but truly this is anything but. I look at it like this - I love the phoenix, the symbolism of it all, the power of rebirth. Hence why I named my blog/musing screen after one. :-) So, I am leaving this particular blog to start another one, one that fits me NOW, the one that I can share in a new way. So this feels right. Thanks to those who have read my musings throughout the years. I hope you follow me to my new musing home entitled THE TWELVE THAT IS DUSTIN BAYLAN. Yes, I am changing the name, the story of that is on the new blog for you to read. Here is the link: http://dustinbaylan.wordpress.com/ Much love, much hope and joy again, much potential... Winks and smiles of the Cat that is Cheshire, Dustin Baylan

Chronicles of Dustin Ashley Beam

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