Skip to main content

Closer to Me


Last night Duvall, Jacob, and I put up the Christmas tree and decorated it with lights and ornaments.

Christmas is still a hard time for me; I feel alone sometimes and miss the magic I once felt as a child.

It has been years since I had a tree. Last year Jay and Karen had a tree, but that was not home. And the years before that Mom and I were too bummed to have a full-fledged tree... And before that, I lived with my brother and it was not home. Even before that, I was in NYC and would visit Bryant but it was not MY tree, MY home.

So, for the first time in years there is a tree that is mine at the home of the Red Door.

I do not know if Christmas of 2009 will be magical, but somewhere, faintly, in a new and also familiar place, I feel that Christmas magic is closer to me than it has been in several years.

As I write this, I am sitting on the couch, resting, the lights are off and the tree lights dance about my dwelling. It feels like home, it feels right, and for the first time in a long time I am starting to believe that the childlike magic is still alive and might just visit me on Christmas.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Loving the Squiggly

I was typing the other day and instead of hitting the ! key I hit the ~ key. Two odd altercations happened between two friends and me via facebook so I have deactivated my account for a bit. It was hurtful and unexpected. So when I hit the ~ key it made me smile and forget all that nonsense. ~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dustin
Post a Comment
Read more

And With This, Farewell

This blog has been a dear friend to me. I am not good at farewells, but truly this is anything but. I look at it like this - I love the phoenix, the symbolism of it all, the power of rebirth. Hence why I named my blog/musing screen after one. :-) So, I am leaving this particular blog to start another one, one that fits me NOW, the one that I can share in a new way. So this feels right. Thanks to those who have read my musings throughout the years. I hope you follow me to my new musing home entitled THE TWELVE THAT IS DUSTIN BAYLAN. Yes, I am changing the name, the story of that is on the new blog for you to read. Here is the link: http://dustinbaylan.wordpress.com/ Much love, much hope and joy again, much potential... Winks and smiles of the Cat that is Cheshire, Dustin Baylan
Post a Comment
Read more

Holding the Key

Only I am solid ground. Those whom I love - the new, the familiar - can be my circle, my connections... but the connection to self is the key I have been missing. Peace fills me as I hold the key and begin to unlock the doors of my life. Only I am solid ground and I embrace the beauty of me. Dustin
Post a Comment
Read more