In the Portal of Water (Reconnection)

Ha. That is what my spirit is communicating to me at this precise moment.

These last blogs have shown a portion of how I process and start anew with a soul game plan, henceforth referred to as S.G.P.

Many virtual oil paintings of promise and hope unfurled in quick succession in the past hours:

I feel as though I live in my home now. I took my first bath here. (Note: I have taken showers and been quite Mr. Hygiene, but this was my foray into bathing at the magic house with the red door.)

I lay there meditating, listening to Sandi's "Artist of My Soul" over and over again, letting the events of the past few days just wash over me with the water. It was beautiful and therapeutic.

I thought about the forthcoming CD and my end goal with the songs and the stories.

I thought about how most of my ideas are borne in or around water and how magical water as an entity is... its escape to another world, a portal to the subconscious.

I thought about my Dad and how his story and mine are brilliantly intertwined.

I thought about my good fortune to have a sound mind and the ability to express myself through song, through words, and to know who to call when I need advice and a shoulder.

I thought about how I have the best friends that life could ever afford.

I thought about the arenas of my life that need drastic overhaul and the arenas that look pretty damn good.

I thought about telling a friend recently that I felt as though my soul and my person were separated, that my soul was lounging on a pristine beach and my personality was having a rough time of it in the turbulent ocean. It is nice, that truly in the course of a few hours, with sound advice, with analysis, and Sandi, I am feeling like I am reconnecting the two once more.

Mostly, I thought how great it is to be alive, even when I am fearful and blazing a myriad of new trails...

Trailblazing me,
Dustin

Comments

The Kick Ass Brothers (And the Theatre Room I Am Going to Steal)

I just spent the day with my brothers, Bran Flakes and Patricio watching "Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood", "Sin City", and "Live Free or Die Hard" in Bran Flake's KICK ASS KICK ASS KICK ASS Theatre Room. (It deserves all three kick asses and then some actually.) It was a Testosterone Day and I made it all the way through. Can we say the same for Patricio? (Titty baby. Ha.) I think that was the first blog smack talk I have "thrown down". I had never seen "Sin City" or "Live Free or Die Hard". Both were excellent. I did not want to leave the nirvana that is the magic room of cinema wonder. So, thanks to Bran Flakes for hosting and for having the idea. And Patrick, let me know how that nipple is treating you. Here's to smack talk... How liberating! (Especially when I am in control of the forum!) Here's to a kick ass theatre room. And to even more kick ass brothers, Dustin

Call to Action

This past Saturday I, with thousands of others across the country, attended a protest/rally of Proposition 8 and Act I (the adoption ban in Arkansas). My dear allies in this battle were Jay, Karen, their joyous son Quin, our mutual friend Greg, Amanda, Carter, Sarah Jane, Liz, and the brave Arkansans that showed up for the rally on the steps of our Capitol. It was bitterly cold and grey, but within I was ignited with passion and newfound purpose. As I listened to the stories of my fellow brothers and sisters, gay, straight, bisexual, transgendered, I was struck by the power of the many speaking as one. Then I began to visit my own story and was struck at how far I have come... to think back fourteen years ago when I had my brother tell my parents that I happened to be gay because I was so frightened as to what they would think, say, how they could ever love me, this abomination.... To now, a man standing with his friends and proclaiming "This is our right, What you have done is ...

In the Colouring of How I Present the Gifts

The death of my Father has coloured the choices I make, the way I live, and the values I hold dear. Sometimes, I am surprised the extent to which it has affected me. I equate it to a new room on the house: this room of grief. For several months both my Mother and I lived in only that room and throughout this process we have ventured back into the rest of the home and, finally, back in to the world. But, from time to time we visit the room again and take a nap, meditate, knowing that room is forever a part of us. I believe that when one experiences a deep shifting to one end of the emotional spectrum, both sides actually strengthen and grow. For quite sometime although there have been some thrilling and touching moments, I think my heart was used to dwelling in the darker end. But.... In the past few days I have had the privilege of performing in a capable production of Sweeney Todd . I portray Anthony, a love-struck sailor. It has been three years since I have performed in a mus...

Chronicles of Dustin Ashley Beam

Search This Blog