In the Portal of Water (Reconnection)

Ha. That is what my spirit is communicating to me at this precise moment.

These last blogs have shown a portion of how I process and start anew with a soul game plan, henceforth referred to as S.G.P.

Many virtual oil paintings of promise and hope unfurled in quick succession in the past hours:

I feel as though I live in my home now. I took my first bath here. (Note: I have taken showers and been quite Mr. Hygiene, but this was my foray into bathing at the magic house with the red door.)

I lay there meditating, listening to Sandi's "Artist of My Soul" over and over again, letting the events of the past few days just wash over me with the water. It was beautiful and therapeutic.

I thought about the forthcoming CD and my end goal with the songs and the stories.

I thought about how most of my ideas are borne in or around water and how magical water as an entity is... its escape to another world, a portal to the subconscious.

I thought about my Dad and how his story and mine are brilliantly intertwined.

I thought about my good fortune to have a sound mind and the ability to express myself through song, through words, and to know who to call when I need advice and a shoulder.

I thought about how I have the best friends that life could ever afford.

I thought about the arenas of my life that need drastic overhaul and the arenas that look pretty damn good.

I thought about telling a friend recently that I felt as though my soul and my person were separated, that my soul was lounging on a pristine beach and my personality was having a rough time of it in the turbulent ocean. It is nice, that truly in the course of a few hours, with sound advice, with analysis, and Sandi, I am feeling like I am reconnecting the two once more.

Mostly, I thought how great it is to be alive, even when I am fearful and blazing a myriad of new trails...

Trailblazing me,
Dustin

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The Leprechaun Loving Lush

Tonight I got snockered with some bombastic leprechauns, dabbled in the cuisine of Acadia, conversed with some drunk oddities, called and text people in quite a state of lowered inhibitions/let's talk about life and giggle, and discussed trivial matters (Is "Sweeney Todd" actually a good film, why do I like "Twilight", etc.) as if life depended on how I articulated my stance in these matters. What an odd, fun, new, out-of-the-comfort zone night for me. Gloriously uncomfortable and disgusting decadent. YAY. Every day I seem to be doing something I have never done before: from the tiny to the grand. It is an experiment and I am loving and loathing it, and all the intoxicating in-betweens. (Yes, not-so-clever pun intended.) I hope that everyone had a wonderful St. Patty's day! (oh my, that is like Sandi Patty, but not at all...) Love, The DABalicious Leprechaun Loving Lush

And With This, Farewell

This blog has been a dear friend to me. I am not good at farewells, but truly this is anything but. I look at it like this - I love the phoenix, the symbolism of it all, the power of rebirth. Hence why I named my blog/musing screen after one. :-) So, I am leaving this particular blog to start another one, one that fits me NOW, the one that I can share in a new way. So this feels right. Thanks to those who have read my musings throughout the years. I hope you follow me to my new musing home entitled THE TWELVE THAT IS DUSTIN BAYLAN. Yes, I am changing the name, the story of that is on the new blog for you to read. Here is the link: http://dustinbaylan.wordpress.com/ Much love, much hope and joy again, much potential... Winks and smiles of the Cat that is Cheshire, Dustin Baylan

Much Needed Silence

The past few days I have liked the darkness, the silence of my room. I have not come out much and have watched "Sleepless in Seattle" over and over and over and over. I started wondering why I want to be alone (I am not depressed at all) and started doing the roommate math. I have lived with 41 different people in my life. I have lived in 21 different living environments not including all the different times I moved around with my family as a kid. I have hit a wall where I just want ME time and a lot of it, no talking, no sharing, just alone time. In this much needed silence I find that I am a much simpler person than I once was, that I really love the quiet, and that it is time to live alone soon. I have done the roomie thing more than anyone I know and met some wonderful people, but I am overloaded with that experience. So, back to "Sleepless in Seattle" and my much needed silence. Dustin

Chronicles of Dustin Ashley Beam

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